Thursday, September 10, 2009


I'm not sure that it feels like it, but my health has made some progress. I had the most awful anxiety as a side-effect of the anti-depressants. After I tried to tough it out until it went away, the doctor and I eventually agreed I needed some anti-anxiety medication to get me through it. Now I have a mild, annoying but not incapacitating anxiety sitting at the bottom of my stomach.

The only possible upside to the anxiety was that since I couldn't relax, I was keeping up with keeping the house tidy and various jobs around the place. Now the anxiety is reduced, I've calmed down a lot and now I'm just tired and flat and blah from the depression. Sadly, that means the laundry pile has got bigger and Marcus' mess is starting to accumulate. I guess there are positives and negatives to everything.

I'm not stitching at all. I've been putting the odd stitch into The Bookshelf from Little House Needleworks but it doesn't really count of stitching at all in my book. I've altered some of the authors' names to ones that are more familiar to me than in the original and I'm going to change one of the book titles. I have never been able to read Wuthering Heights and after some comments I've heard about it, I don't think I ever will. So the scene of a house beside a wild sea will be changed to something else. I know what, I just have figured out how I'm going to do the wording (feel free to guess, but no prize for a correct answer I'm afraid).

Speaking of Little House Needleworks, I see the designer has started up a blog and is revealing snippets of her new release to be called The Library. I'm being suitably teased and have just added her to my feed reader so I don't miss out of anything. It's here for anyone wanting to take a look.

I am doing some reading, although not with as much enthusiasm as I would like. Back in March, a friend gave me the book Do Polar Bears Get Lonely? for my birthday. It's a compilation of answers to questions posed in New Scientist's Last Word column where readers ask strange and/or interesting questions and other readers answer them. I thoroughly enjoyed the book - even if I didn't understand all of it and probably forgot most of it. Dave picked up the other two from the library, Does Anything Eat Wasps? and Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? and I am enjoying those, having already finished the first one and started on the second. (For the record: No, polar bears don't get lonely being solitary animals and all sorts of things eat wasps including fish, frogs, many types of birds and other wasps.)

I have also stared Silent on the Moor by Deanna Raybourn. I wasn't blowled over by the first two in the series, but I did enjoy reading them, so I shall give it a go.

Sticking with books, I updated two of the widgets on my sidebar today, to use the provided GoodReads versions for "Current Books" and "Recently Read". Using GoodReads means I don't have to manually update either. Especially, I don't have to constantly find and upload book covers of my current reads. GoodReads does it for me and that makes my life a lot easier.

I've been in a Doctor Who phase as I work through the anxiety, and have been listening to a lot of podcasts (I'm especially enjoying Cadmium2's story by story casts from the beginning, although I'm only up to The Space Museum, while they are about thirteen episodes ahead of me). I've also listened to a few Big Finish audio plays, mostly from the Eight Doctor range, as Paul McGann remains my favourite doctor, despite his very short time in the role.

I've been very slowly watching Torchwood: Children of Earth over about the last 10 days. I watched episode four today and I hope to finish it tomorrow, although that will depend on just how my day goes. I had been warned about the bad thing that happens in episode four, so at least I wasn't shocked and could just appreciate the way they played it all out. I thought it was a lovely ending in a very-sad-lovely kind of way. Now just one more hour to watch.

So all in all, I'm no longer terribly anxious, but remain flat and blah with a general feeling of not-rightness. Still the specialist told me it took me 14 months to stabalise last time, so I just hope it doesn't take that long this time, as it's only been a bit over four.

Okay, time for me to head for bed. Early nights and the best sleep possible are my friends right now.


orannia said...

I'm glad the anxiety has lessened, but I'm sorry you're feeling blah :( Fingers crossed that's you're feeling better soon.

And if you need a hand, let me know!

fudgey said...

oh sweetie
i sooo understand everything you wrote.. the tight rope of meds and the inability to focus on any one thing..
neither am i stitching much for very much the same reasons
(((hugs)) again cos you need them