I'm Sorry

I'm Sorry
Originally uploaded by rocalisa.

For the Sweet Shoppe Designs Sugar Free Challenge #9 (28 Mar 2007)

Regrets

Journalling~
Last week, I saw the ENT for the results of your oximetry test. He said that while your breathing issues weren't critical, your oxygen uptake was really quite bad and he wants to take out your adenoids and tonsils as soon as possible. He wants to do it at Starship because they have an ICU on hand if it is needed. You see, the pressure is so high when you breathe that your body will need time to adjust to the smaller effort required to breathe once the obstruction is removed. There is a very small chance that this could lead to you dragging fluid into your lungs at first before you adjust. They will need to monitor you, and take you to ICU if that does happen.
Last night, you were upset and I let you fall asleep in our bed with me. I was lying there, listening to you breathe and I realised that I could hear how hard you were working to draw air into your lungs with each breath. I am just horrified that I didn't figure this out months ago. It's been like this since you were little, you've been having apneas all along as well, but because I'd got used to that when you were in the NICU, I just ignored it and chalked it up to being normal for you. I am so very, very sorry that I didn't figure it out sooner. I could have done something earlier and made your life so much better before now. I wish I'd been a bit quicker on this, but I wasn't and all we can do now is get on with fixing the problem.

Credits~
Paper from "Sweet Memories" by Nancy Kubo; stamped alpha is "Real Stamped Alpha" by Lisa Whitney; button alpha is "Bubble Alpha" by Stephanie Burt; flower from "Flower Patch" by Dani Mogstad; butterfly from "Felty Flies" by Dani Mogstad; heart from "Beaded Hearts" by Amy Martin; photo frame from "Vintage Frames 2" by Nancy Comelab; font is KGD Kerry Print.